In a small rural community in Ghana’s Oti Region, near the Togolese border, the Real Fathers’ Club is in session. Michael, 41, a teacher, farmer, and father of 8 children, including 6 daughters, is talking about girls’ rights with the other men of his village.

“Real change starts with us,” he says, waving his hand in the air. “When we share the work at home, everyone benefits.”

Traditionally here, cooking, caring for children, and household work is the sole domain of women, with men focusing on more manly pursuits: farming and other outdoor tasks. Now, this timeworn narrative is being rewritten, largely thanks to a Real Fathers’ Club. The club is providing a platform for men to discuss and redefine masculinity.

Now, because of the club’s activities, numerous fathers in the community are stepping up to share household responsibilities with their wives, bond with their children, and challenge deeply engrained gender and masculinity norms that have shaped their communities for generations, not least the practice of FGM, which is, these days, entirely eradicated from local culture and life.  

Creating a harmonious household

With a membership of 24 men, the Real Fathers’ Club meets twice a month. The husbands and fathers share experiences of life at home, and learn about what they can do to foster harmonious households – and contribute emotionally, as well as financially.

They discuss how to support their wives, ways to help in the home, and how to create an environment where children can thrive, whether it’s cooking, taking children to school, or helping with homework.

Michael says he used to think unpaid care work was solely for women, but since he joined the Real Fathers’ Club this year, he thinks differently:

“Men would let their wives carry firewood with babies on their backs while we carried only tools,” he explains. “Now, I carry the firewood so my wife can carry the baby.”

“The Real Fathers’ Club has been very helpful. We share ideas on how to assist our wives with house duties so they can rest, and we encourage the children to help out too.”

For Michael, the lessons he has learnt at the Real Fathers’ Club have translated into tangible changes at home.

“When my wife is cooking banku, I help by cutting the okra so we can finish early, and have time for family discussions,” he says.

Michael believes their new marital collaboration not only lightens his wife’s workload, but also strengthens their relationship, creating a more harmonious home for their children.

Michael’s eldest daughter, Enyonam, 17, who is at secondary school, has noticed a real difference in her father’s attitude to family life, and his children.

“I feel happy that my father is promising to support us,” she says. “Some of my friends say their parents don’t spend much time interacting with them or asking what they need. Parents should show love toward their children, just like my parents do.”

Agbeko, 47, hunter, farmer, father of 6, and a fellow member of the Real Fathers’ Club, echoes Michael’s sentiments. “I don’t want anyone in my family to have issues. People often mention that I have a lot of daughters, and I am proud of that.”

“I always encourage my daughters to share their aspirations with me. If they want to work hard, I’ll support them, unlike my father, who didn’t support me.”

Agbeko emphasises the importance of honest communication with his children. “I want my daughters to know they can come to me with anything. If they need something, I’ll help, but if I can’t, I’ll be honest about it.”

“I feel comfortable with what my father is saying,” says Agbeko’s daughter, Naomi. “I want my father to be truthful with us. If he has something to say, he should say so, and if he doesn’t, he should be honest about it.”

Protecting daughters from FGM

For many fathers here, these radical new attitudes towards parental responsibility extend beyond the home. The Real Fathers’ Club has also opened up important discussions about protecting daughters from teenage pregnancy and traditional harmful practices such as Female Genital Mutilation (FGM).

“FGM should stop,” Michael states firmly. “It damages girls and has harmful effects that shouldn’t be continued.”

Agbeko says he is very glad that the practice of FGM has died out in the community. “They used to practice FGM here, but it has stopped now. We don’t practice it in my family. I know it was more common before, but it’s no longer practiced.”

“I haven’t met anyone who has undergone FGM,” agrees his daughter, Naomi. “I know it isn’t good because it can lead to diseases. My message to other communities is that they should stop FGM because it can cause infections and even death, which is not good.

Families should not put their daughters through it, whether for tradition or not, because they could lose their daughters. Tradition is one reason FGM continues, as some believe it’s required by their culture.”

Though FGM is no longer practised here, Michael believes education and awareness campaigns remain crucial in ensuring that the practice does not resurface.

Michael’s approach to protecting his daughters involves not just discouraging harmful traditions, but also actively addressing their needs as girls.

“I focus on my daughters because they’re more vulnerable to certain challenges. I sit with them every day to ask what they need. For instance, if they need school supplies, I provide them, so they aren’t tempted to ask others.”

As part of the Real Father Club programme, Plan International is supporting families like Michael’s, providing sanitary pads and training sessions on menstrual health.

The project is proving that change is possible, even in the most traditional communities. Real change, as Michael so succinctly puts it, starts with real men.

The Real Father’s Club in Oti region was established by Plan International in 2024.

Categories: Protection from violence, Sexual and reproductive health and rights Tags: Female genital mutilation, Gender-based violence, Parenting